


I left ruin behind me

by mrescapist



Series: The true shinobi [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Internal Monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 18:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11167449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrescapist/pseuds/mrescapist
Summary: Orochimaru was dead. Not only had Sasuke survived an encounter with one of the Three Legendary Shinobi of Konoha, ill though he might have been, but he had defeated him.Sasuke was alive, and his mission was over. He could finally go home.





	I left ruin behind me

Orochimaru was dead. Not only had Sasuke survived an encounter with one of the Three Legendary Shinobi of Konoha, ill though he might have been, but he had defeated him. 

Sasuke was alive, and his mission was over. He could finally go home.

He expected to feel relieved, and perhaps eager to return to Konoha. Instead he felt dread. Not only did he lie to all his friends, but he had fought them more than once to keep up the farce. Every semblance of a moral compass he might have developed during his time in Konoha had been stepped on, crushed by duty.

Technically, the mission he was assigned to was off the record. It was the equivalent of a S-Rank mission, which was only assigned to members of the black-ops task force of Konoha, the ANBU, and to the most powerful Jounin in the village. In this case, he felt the S stood for suicide other than anything else. When he and Tsunade agreed to exploit Orochimaru's interest in him, Sasuke had but one certainty. If Orochimaru did not kill him, Naruto and Sakura would.

He was reluctant to admit in the first few months of his mission, but he missed them, dearly. Thinking of his friends was a luxury he could only afford seldom. When he had both Orochimaru and Kabuto watching him constantly, any display of weakness was a threat to his cover. He could not falter, so Sasuke trained to always be on guard with his thoughts. 

That was not a simple task, by any means. 

As a shinobi, he had disciplined both his mind and his body. It was one thing, however, to maintain focus through extended periods of time in a relatively secure environment. It was another to do that under constant pressure. Sasuke lost count of the times he felt the cold walls of whatever hideout they were in enclosing on him - times in which the pressure was too great, the fear too overwhelming. 

At night he was visited by watchful golden eyes with slitted pupils, lit within the dark. No matter which direction he took, no matter where he hid, he was always being watched, always being evaluated. In those dreams, he knew the moment he faltered was the moment he would die. Then he would wake up, and realize that the line that separated nightmare from reality became thin. Not that he was a stranger to that. During the first few years since the massacre, he woke on occasion after a nightmare, thinking that what he saw would prove to be just a figment of his imagination, only to find that dream and reality were one and the same.

Sasuke had found the easiest way to survive his predicament was to shroud himself in hatred. With the attack of Orochimaru’s elite guard three years ago that hoped to goad Sasuke into joining them, he and Tsunade established what her former teammate seemed to expect. Orochimaru believed Sasuke would join him, seeking power in order to avenge his clan. If that was what he expected, it was what Sasuke would give him.

It was partially true. He did not tell the Hokage he considered accepting the offer. Tsunade knew, of that he was sure, but none of them mentioned it. Her acknowledgement, her trust in him was the sole link he had to Konoha in which he could rely on when he felt himself slipping. 

Sasuke was the last of the Uchiha. The Godaime could have kept him behind the safe walls of Konoha, as the great asset that he was. Instead, she played a bold move, giving one of her most promising shinobi away to one of the most infamous of nukenin, a shinobi that had slain Tsunade’s master not long ago.

Duty to the Godaime and his lust for revenge; those were the foundations of his defences. Sasuke did not erect a solid barrier around himself. Instead, he built a misleading wasteland so that no one would dare set foot into it. Lies became second nature, his demeanor emotionless. He was no longer a man, he was his goal. Every waking hour was either spent studying the secret techniques Orochimaru allowed him access to, or training himself to exhaustion. 

It worked, Orochimaru bought it. He fooled one of the most powerful shinobi in the Elemental Nations as well he could have. The Sannin probably knew Sasuke would make a move against him sooner or later, but he mistook his reasons. Misdirecting Orochimaru was one of the key elements of his mission. Tsunade suspected Danzo either worked, or had worked with Orochimaru at some point in time. Any wrong move and his cover and Tsunade’s very position could be put in jeopardy.

The fight with Orochimaru proved to be even more taxing than he had expected, but his work was not finished yet. 

It was unfortunate Kabuto had gotten away. He hated leaving a loose thread. Sasuke had a feeling he would be a thorn on Konoha’s side, but he was in no shape to track him at the moment. 

He did not want to spend one more minute than necessary in that place. His possessions were meager, so it took little time for him to pack everything. What it took longer was destroying the hideout. Any trace of Orochimaru’s and Kabuto’s research in this facility would go up in a giant pyre, along with his remains. Those were Tsunade’s orders, to destroy everything he could before Danzo could send his associates to have a look at it. 

When he finally left the dark candle-lit corridors behind him, and took in the fresh air outside, it felt as though he was taking his first breath. The breeze on his face, the smell of flowers, and grass, all those details had gone beneath his senses over the years. He did not register those details. There were only terrain analysis, possible escape routes, places to lay down a trap, each hideout was a contingency plan. 

Sasuke took one last look at the entrance that lead into the ground. All it took was for him to ignite the first explosive tag with his chakra. It spread through the network of explosives he crafted. Each tag went off one after the other. The hideout went up in flame. The shockwave made his clothes billow, and he shielded his eyes from the dust with his arm. 

He turned away. Behind there was only rubble, just as Sasuke hoped to leave that part of his history: buried so deep no one would ever be able to guess what was hidden beneath. He took the first step of this journey, but he knew it was only the first of many before he could begin to forget.


End file.
